Thank God, I Conform!

One night in my dream I came face to face with evil. It told me to think for myself, take decisions based on my understanding of the world. It told me to think critically, analyse objectively and trust my instincts even if they go against the ways of the world. 

It talked to me about existential crisis, new recourses, breaking of fundamentals of living in order to create new realities. It talked about voyeuristic pursuit of self-actualization and the horrendousness of not knowing everything. 

But thankfully, I woke up and I reaffirmed to myself… 

One is born into. One cannot choose. I was born in a village, a community, a caste, a religion, a country. All around me were perfunctory motions of life. From before birth till after death, my life was to be enacted in a certain way. Everything was figured out by all the above combinations, unlike what evil suggested. 

From morning till night, night after night, day after day, I come across happy and sad occasions. I will go through them in set ways, with an inherited belief system. The world is already decoded for me by my ancestors and now guided by my parent generation. 

I have nothing to think of really. Every ounce of wit developed in my little head must be focused on navigating the set-trends of the outside. That too is a sorted world and I must not think much of it. My dictated values have sorted the good and the bad for me, analysed and given me preconceived ideas how to think about people, places, things etc. 

My inner world is not to be wondered about, thought of or grappled with. 

'Why, Why not?' These are bad thoughts.

I am a ___, belonging to ___, living with ___ and going about my life in a ____. These patterns are tried and tested ones. No need to think over them, no need to challenge them.

My name is __ and it means __. My birth decides my claim on life, my luck, my love. Because they involve the position of my parents, my community, my country. Their labels are now my labels. Whatever passes of as an achievement or disaster in life is not my doing. My share of experiences is to the credit of stars, the planets and the turns universe takes.

I am taught how to conflate my life progression with a preordained programme called luck and destiny. It is a function of my caste, my community, my religion, region and my values as poured in me by somebody who loves me unconditionally (subject to my conformity). All these living and non-living entities are puppetry stringed to sun signs and moon designs and earthly grammar of a supernatural entity.

There is nothing life can surprise me with and if a surprise does come along, it would be a part of my destiny. So, nothing really. All I do is enact a role. It is to be carried out in this body which has all these labels like a mannequin in a shop.  I belong and therefore I must … 

Even if I rebel, somebody will tell you, it was a part of the position of the planets. I have no agency. Not really. Because that is not life. That would be evil acting through me, telling me to reason, understand, choose and apply. 

Finally, there comes a time when I start firmly believing my set conditioning. Then, I’ll be sure to take up the responsibility of the next generation. I will guide my progeny not to think. I will ensure she/he (hereon, referred to as ‘it’) knows and understands that nothing in life is to be thought about really. It is all laid out there. 

It simply must keep breathing, which too is not a choice but a preordained fact. I will imprint my way of life, my values, my culture, tradition and my spirit in it. I will teach it what to make of this world it is born in, what country it belongs to, what religion, region it has inherited and their programmed values and systems which need not be questioned. 

I will decide how it goes about various stages of life and in case it learns deviation by using the faculty of its brain, I will make sure the course correction happens and it realises its folly. While doing so, it must know that its little misadventure was also a part of pre-aligned star positions. It mustn't delve much on it.

Ultimately, if deviations of thought or actions persist, I will overwhelm its confidence of whatever it has understood of life and living, by the cumulative power of my region, religion, caste, community, nation, ancestral values and best of all - threat of my dissociation. Even though its deviation is a part of its star positions, making it not think for itself is part of my star positions. 

Because its successes are our successes and its failures are its own. If it wants to belong, our destinies should converge into a predestined life cycle. 

There is nothing called experience, there is nothing called the chance of birth. There is nothing called thinking for self. Life is a big ritual. It has to be conducted in a particular way, as stated earlier, from before birth till after death. The thinking has been done, the logic has been ascribed, the roles have been settled, the partners have been decided, the outlooks have been adjusted.

Only, it has to follow the carefully laid out path and not succumb to the vagaries of self-reflection, judgement and thought or that monster called choice. 

I am sure after following its course it will live happily, like I did. Or so we must both think.