Prashant's Solace

One night in my dream I came face to face with evil. It told me to think for myself, take decisions based on my understanding of the world. It told me to think critically, analyse objectively and trust my instincts even if they go against the ways of the world.  It talked to me about existential crisis, new recourses, breaking of fundamentals of living in order to create new realities. It talked about voyeuristic pursuit of self-actualization and the horrendousness of not knowing everything.  But thankfully, I woke up and I reaffirmed to myself…  One is born into. One cannot choose. I was born in a village, a community, a caste, a religion, a country. All around me were perfunctory motions of life. From before birth till after death, my life was to be enacted in a certain way. Everything was figured out by all the above combinations, unlike what evil suggested.  From morning till night, night after night, day after day, I come across happy and sad occasions. ...

The picture below is one of many disappearing stories. What is a story? The one which is told or the one which is written, the one which is sung or the one which is enacted. What about those which are neither told nor written, simply play out there and cease to exist? But one hot day... The water cans in this picture were provided to these labourers by my house. These are not people employed by us but construction workers on a road site. Meaning a government contractor brought them in my lane for work and left them there for good. It is the end of the day; you can see life and work partners are getting into the auto rickshaw, after a hard day's labour. Their kids are already lodged behind the seat in semi-dazed condition. The woman folk are getting in, well-aware their day's work is not yet over. They have to go back to their ramshackle existence, cook and feed all, service the elders and later maybe their husbands. But the cans. They had come running on being told by my passin...

A friend once told me with disdain. ‘I think fiction books are stupid. Stories about love, hate and all the… stupidities. I only read non-fiction, the real deal.’ He announced why reading fiction is one of the guilty pleasures that humanity indulges in and we are better off without it. And he wasn’t the first one to tell me this. The Onslaught  Many of my students and parents come to me declaring the usefulness of certain works and subjects. They talk of the useless pursuits - story subjects, which I should rather neglect while teaching. Some are willing to concede a little ground. According to them, while these stories might be a good 'time-pass', they might not land their kids a good career, a good social standing or a good job. While it is good to patronise them, these storybooks do not mean anything in the real world. Maybe one can read them for a couple of hours in a week, if at all.  But no one is going to employ them or marry them for reading storybooks. Some ar...

There he was again. Amidst life on earth, a speck of dust, a blip, a grain of sand. The kulfiwallah walks into the street like he had countless times before. The same soft jingle, the same rectangular arch, hoisting the name of his moving establishment over a black pot draped with a red cloth. He looks the same. No. He looks the same! He keeps coming from an unknown place and disappearing down the street each evening only to reappear the next day. Day in, day out. Times, mutinies, 09/11, 26/11, economic meltdowns, World Cup victories, marriages, divorces, deaths, births, careers, pandemics, growths, developments, regressions, governments; nothing seems to affect him. 30 years on, he looks the same. The pace of his cart is the same and of course the taste of that perpetual kulfi is the same.  About 25 years ago, a game of lingorcha was being played on the same street. It was March, the middle of the exam season. But this boy couldn’t care less. He wasn’t the one to study till the ...

Adjectives met or may meet again or never, in a twist of fate.   Stupid, Ignorant, Kind and Charming... Four adjectives with little context in each other's lives met in the strangest of circumstances. Charming travelled half way across the globe from Washington to Delhi in search of a delicious meal. His ride was hit by a rogue speeding car in the old lanes of Delhi. He lost everything, except for life and locomotion. Kind, an orphan from the upmarket Greater Kailash happened to see the accident and rushed to help Charming. She didn't know then that Charming would become a liability for many days to come. Little because of circumstances, more because of her own nature. Kind took on the responsibility while she barely could help herself. Kind taught Charming how to beg, borrow and steal. Daily unsure but surely each day, they made a living. From the riches of Clarendon, Washington to the streets of rich Greater Kailash. From being the rich to being the recipient rich. En...

That halting sensation when tyres dig into the road sending high pitched sound straight into the guts!  I hear a van followed by commotion. The same van had circled back to my lane. Probably finding out the right address, it was passing by and ran over someone. I go out to find my love gasping! She was walking back home from the office. About to enter our house.   The society goes helter and skelter. In the desert of apathy called the world, an oasis called Westwood society sustained my quiet life and its troubles. Here, we were thrived on illusions of order and care, until... ...My corner in this ocean of calm had some turbulence; then this tsunami.  It is a regular day by any and all standards in Westwood Society. So regular that, I can recite the daily nagging of my neighbour. The weather is absolutely unnoticeable. No hint of imbalance detected in any of its components.  No shift in humidity or rains, heat or cold or the wind. The kerb cars parked outside homes...

Chaos and anarchy are the petrichor of the approaching rain. Their world knows and doesn’t know. Rules and democracy relegate themselves to texts.  The endgame has culminated in Syria. Gaza and Israel are, where they always were, Russia and Ukraine, one can only hope – what even one doesn’t know.  In India's immediate neighbourhood anarchy is just around the corner. And there are countless turbulences manifesting everywhere. Then, there are the frustrations of a commoner. This writer is not an affiliate and hence the use of the word- commoner. Religious, political, societal, gender-based, sporting or filmy; each of this person’s associations are momentary. This person can enjoy a game, vote for a particular leader in an election or move around with no particular sexual or racial group, brandishing as another one, for most of the public appearances. But there is no inherent preference. After committing to these roles, this individual goes back to the realities staring in the ...

Nostalgia wasn't big then. It had started raining. The pitter patter was steady. It rhymed with the wind, and the trees swayed to the music. No soul, as usual passed by in our silent lane; maybe a lone worker heading off from some site to the unknown.  I was back from school. There was no electricity but no complaints there. I stood on the porch my arms extended to feel the light drizzle as the wind spray caressed my face. Ms. Front Door too had come out to feel the same rains. Her arms extended her smile further more. It was time for many other things, but they could all wait; tuitions, football and friend meetings later that evening, cycle ride to school. The last one helped me understand how much I liked school and the thought-shelter it provided my brain.  The street smelled of nostalgia and looked like a black and white postcard from a distant land.  This is life as I have known, as I have seen. 20 years from now all playmates from colonies, mohallas and societies wi...

There are two meaning of the word ‘rehashed’. One - without significant change or improvement and the other - consider or discuss something at length. And I mean both here. Strolling on one of the busy beaches of the city, on a festive night is an assault on the senses. But there are patterns of sanity, emotions, conflicts, love, hate or conspiracies hidden in the sea of madness. One has to simply focus one’s attention on a particular aspect of humanity. As I went about kicking the little space of cool sand coming my feet’s way, I couldn’t help but notice- love. Love, love.   Out of the two evening seas, in the human one, I saw this love; walking, talking, observing, kneeling, cuddling, kissing, arguing, fighting. It may not be all love; I contradicted my thought. But resemblance is enough to brand an action especially, when telling a story. And I added my thought-spice as these love stories played all around me. What came my way first was the passionate love. Under a lones...

It is amazing how a day I should be proud of, begins with many things I am ashamed of. But I realize I am not a consequential being. Freedom earned, freedom gained in a particular context means little to a mind grappling with freedom from a spiralling thought processes. Efforts, sincerity of purpose, struggle seem to draw nothing. Just like the words. This last bit hurts more than everything else. About a decade ago, I had addressed a fellow being, thinking something mattered. Something might move. A heart, a character, a system, a humanity. I see the parade of the Americans, the Russians, the Taliban, the Israeli, of the right and of the left. I see death of soldiers and terrorists. I see victors and vanquished. Everyone seem to be in a state of eternal existence with no conclusiveness.  Then there is the rapist and the raped. As much as I hate to bring them in the same sentence the butchery of living demands, that I do. There is the system and the anti-system in which they try to...